pills & you;

i was too selfish
too much thinking for myself than i neglected you.
i know you're not in a mood,
but i didnt even make the effort to ask why.
why you were like that.

and i figure out myself just when i read your blog.
and
this is just so dissapointing.
im so dissapointed in myself
for not even care about what you think.

and when you need someone to talk to
im not there,
and despite talking to me
you post in your blog,
thinking that it will heal a lil.

mayb it will
but
i should have be there.
i should really meet you just now.
instead, i went break with my friends.

i knw, we have been meeting each other very often
but the fact that today you need someone to hear you
i was not there,
goind break with my friends will forever be awesome.

but i think,
i always behave at the wrong timing uh.
no serious.
unexpected things always happen when im not there.

if you think
i will only be sad in front of you
which equals to faking,
then you're wrong.

i'll remember this forever.
you said it to me once.
and it hurts me.
and now,
if you say it again
well i cnnot blame you
for i know you're not having a straight mind yet.

at the corner of the class,
sitting and reading your blog
made me shed.
somehow.
i dont know why,
though its btw you and ur fam
it still makes me sad to see you sad.

and the fact that u say i will only be sad infront of u, and happy with my frens
make me shed more.
cause, i know.
its useless.
u wont care even if i say im sad when ure sad.

and love,
i will never blame u.
wont.
i hope not.

pls knw that i love you
and
sorry if i always say that" u dun love me"
i was joking, but
i didnt knw u take it seriously.

well i think,
i need to mind my words next time
so that i wont hurt u even a lil
i'll try.

i dun wanna u get hurt further.
enough with ur fam's probs.
and
i hope i wont add more.

so yea.
i love you still.

love, FERRA (':