pills & you;

*` my family my love,
my parents my everything *

teeeheeeheee ((:
so today after school
followed boyfy to TRCC forawhile
so call " send him there la kan "
after that went home straight
and noone was at home.
called mum and there she goes
went to town with her friends withouht bringing me.

so i said to her i wanna go Lot 1 to Cotton On
to buy some shirt.
and she agreed!
haha.
that's means there will be new clothes and everything.
lol :D

and so i got myself 2 pair of hoodie tee,
one grey vest
and one flip flops.
* for your info, the pink flip flop i bought last thurs havent been put to use,
and i bought another one in blue colour *
teeeeheeeheee ((:
if boyfy were there, i think he prolly say
" don't waste money "
hahaha :PP

ahh wells,
mum got herself one blouse too
and she bought carlo rino bag at tangs which cost her quite a bomb
but i think she's the most happiest person
at least, beside me.
heeeeeee ((:

anyhoos,
tomorrow gonna have another hiphop-bboying session
only god knows how i dont like breakdancing
but wth, it could be fun though.
and so i cannot wait to meet Marsh again.
lol :D

oh and yes,
boyfy gonna have his dance performance
at where and what time i don't even know
and he gonna have his driving test again tomorrow.

i really hope this time the instructor will be very generous enough
and hope allah is there to give him every strength he needs
so that everything went smoothly
cause he is not feeling very well
cause i think my virus has spread to him
like what bro told me the other day.
ahhhh god.

allah,
i really hope you will let him pass his driving test
at least that would make him happy though he's tired and weak and feel sick
if im the instructor, i'll definitely pass my boyfy
oh and i know and i believe he can do it.

so love,
you just need to have a little confidence and pray before you take the test aites
i know very well,
you can do it and that time you failed
its the instructor problem not yours.
((:

so we will see how it goes tomorrow.
heh (:
just hope for the best ok.
and i'll be right in RP waiting for you
nyehehe.

alrite now,
RJ need to be done
i dont wanna get C again.
darn.

goodnight and goodbye
KPO blog-hoppers.
nyehehehe ((:

love, FERRA

*` it is such a bliss to meet someone as perfect as you *

today i had an almost perfect day.

though finding clothes to go out can be as tough as studying
but i manage to pull through it
haha.

though wear sembarang
and think that i look awful,
boyfy was amazed to see me
and he claimed i look pretty
or wat so ever the word he said.
((:

and whats the occasion is all about
well, went out with boyfy's family
his dad, mom, sis and her boyfy
and it feels like complete already
haha.

we went to watch movie
don't mess with the zohan
its abit merepeks ah,
but i think boyfy loves it
cause the movie is super like him
lame+merepek = muhd dinie faris
hahaha :DDD

before that went to have a late lunch but early dinner
at somewhere CCK,
i think so.
and the food was awesome
mayb cause its FREE lah kan.
haha.

but it doesnt matter
what matter is that
i love going out with boyfy's family
nyehehehe

anyhoos,
tmr prolly will be rotting
and right now im waiting for that
handsome boyfriend of mine to go online

since budak tu dah ade wireless at home,
we can webby all night.
hahah..
im very excited you.
lol :D

alrite now.
pics soon,
if boyfy kind enough to send to me.
heh

OHOH!
THANK YOU DINIE'S IBU & AYAH
FOR TREATING ME
AND KIND ENOUGH TO BRING ME OUT
HAHAH

alrite now.
goodnite my KPO readers
haha

timecheck: 11.29pm
location: my comfy bed
plug in to: Kenny Rogers & Dolly Parton - Islands In The Stream ( PaPa's favourite song )

love, FERRA
((:

*` i'm happy to be with you
and i never regret every seconds with you *

i'm down with flu, fever and running nose
and more
it is so irritating.
and yet, i come to school
cause i dont want to miss today's computing lesson
teeeheeeheee ((:

ahh presentation gonna start
darnnn.

i cannot wait for hiphop later.

oh and yes,

HAPPY 11TH MONTHSARY MUHD DINIE FARIS
(((:

I LOVE YOU NOW, LATER, TOMORROW, AND EVER AFTER!
NYEHEEEEE
THOUGH WE GO THROUGH ALOT OF UPS & DOWNS,
I HOPE WE STAY STRONG TOGETHER
AND SORRY IF I HURT YOU ALOT OF TIMES.
:P

alrite now,
toodles

love, FERRA :DDD

*` it feels so wrecked and nothing can cure it *

Cramps hurting me
and i cannot tahan.
it is damn bad.

PMS just SUCKS

and so does enterprise
i understand NUTS
ahhh wells!

i forgot almost everything
and that is just so choatic.

goodbye.

love, FERRA

high heels kills me like TOTALLEH !
:/ :/ :/

but then,
first theatre practice was fun
we have to dance mambo and traditional
and its damn funny la
to be patner with boyfy
hahaha
:DDD

anyhoos,
ytd was boyfy's karate competition.
though he didn't win any cup.
he make it to the second round is more than good.
hahaha
since its his first time doing the KATA watsoever thing tu.

and erm,
IM SUPPOSED TO BE AN AUDIENCE
NOT SOMEONE WHO THROW THE RED PACKET TO THE BATTLE MAT.
WTH!
haha.

but then, ok la.
memalukan throw tak pass2.
hahaha.

pics and vids will be uploaded soon.
and
today went to school with boyfy
despite making a deal to go to school once or twice together in a week.
booohooohooo!
but since both dah lambat,
go together.
its a coincedence anway.

alrite now.
back to webby with boyfy
nyehehe.

toodles.
BYE

love, FERRA
:DD

i hope my everyday will end with laughter
with the one i truly love
((:

heck the torturous lesson
but
first hip hop practice was superb and fantastic.

well, at least i did enjoyed myself
and
meeting new friends is just my favourites
teeeheeeheee ((:

i love boyfriend to the core!
haha.
he did nothing, but with him there
im much more happier to see his smile
nyehehehe.

and yes,
cannot wait for the following lessons
and erm
im progressing on my TOPROCK.
muahahaha!!!
:PPPP

wednesday will be the welcome tea party
got food,
cannot wait
nyeheeh :D

i wanna rot
and tmr me and bf will be attending our first practice
for the theatre performance at esplanade somewhere in july
can wait, but cannot wait to get the pay.
hahaha.

ok dah update,
wan to do RJ
and RJ SUCKS TO THE COREEEE.
HAHAHAHA
and im asking boyfy to do for me.
BBOOOOOOOO!!!

love, FERRA
:DDD

timecheck: 3.37pm
location: w34k, RP

right now,
this minute
in w34k we're having
OUR SECOND PRESENTATION!

and i mean just the second group.
this is so pathetic.
i wonder what time we gonna finish

ah FRIDAY is a wreck.
darrrn
-____-

goodbye.
cannot wait to end class.
teeeheeheee (((:

*` i love you yesterdays, now, tomorrows and forever*

this is week is FINAL ok love?
you promised already
you know what i mean right???
nyehehee
((:

i had a blast, anyway.
muahahaha
:P

anyhoos,
i got nothing interesting to update just that

DANCE PRAC GONNA START TOMORROW
IM EXCITED PLUS NERVOUS!

LOL
:D
lucky, i got this bestfriend + boyfriend = Muhd Dinie Faris
to be beside me
nyehehehe.

till here then,
goodnite lovelies.

love, FERRA
* im happily webcaming with boyfy now :DDD*

*` im not sure if i get the chance to be hold by your hands and to feel the love again*

i've said what i've said
and
im feeling NUMB.
im not sure if i regret or ok with it
but honestly, i wish i could turn back time
and stop being ngade-ngade.

i've said it and he's fine with it
at least, thats what he say
i feel so guilty
but at the same time
sad and angry.

he's being nice and everything
but just with that sentence
it hurt me till im not aware of what decision i've made.
i wish none of that have happen
but i think, its too late to even look back.

dont say i'm the best you ever get
cause deep down,
i know its nothing like that.
and i dont know who's at fault and why this happen

so much of not wanting it to end
so much happiness we had ytd
but i think,
its tooo late .....

allah, please guide me through and let me pass all of this very quickly cause it hurting real badly
)':

goodnight love.
i miss your smile

and one more thing,
i hate that it have to end like this
i really do, im sorry.

love, FERRA
)': )': )':)':)':

*` our babies ((:*

timecheck: 1.14pm
location: w34k, RP
plug in to: classmates chattering

like usual wednesdays,
went to school alone
and everymorning
i will see the same old thing,
beside the school
i saw this girl whom i saw every morning since i was sixteen.
LoL

we everytime saw each other last time,
during secondary sch days
at marsiling mrt
but now,
at the bust stop.

and the unexpected thing is that
we both in RP and same block, W3!
i mean, we do not know each other
but just see each other every morning
and we always exchange smile
and then minding our own business.

no say hello,
no how r u
or any of those stuff

weird as it is,
and sometimes,
she walk infront of me just like today
its so scary , can?
hahaha.

sms-ed boyfy early in the morning
than he agree that is scary cause i even forgot my own block
i told him w4 instead of w3.
haha.
and and and,
boyfy suggest me to say HI.
lol

ahh well,
hope we can talk sometime
cause im sure, im gonna meet her even more often
:PPP

* i dont sound lessie, didnt i? -eyes rollllliiiinnnngggggg- *

anyhoos,
i think boyfy gonna have his dance prac later
cause he gonna perform on 1st july
and he also will be having his TP test on that date
i wonder how he gonna cope with the timing and all

* jgn complain sudah eh *
hahaha :P

ok now,
back to powerpoint
need to finish them up.

goodday folks.

love, FERRA ((:

*` Nurifa Elferra & Dinie Faris are please to WELCOME LUCY & BILLY *

i cannot deny that i had lots of fun.
prince caspian is a MUST show to watch!
yea, i kinda catch that movie late
but what the heck.
and boyfy treat me food and stuff
and thank you love,
for spending so much on me
though im kinda bad early in the morning.
teeeheeeheee((:

* told you all, he is a very patience guy and never fail to cheer me up *

next movie is
a boy girl thing and penelope and dark knight
and
the
list
go
on
.
.
.
.
.

:DDDDDDD

oh and yesyes !
we bought billy and lucy at this small shop
which i wont tell where
cause,
its super cute and i know you bitches will agree with me
:PPPP

and Billy belongs to me
while Lucy belongs to my love.
and we will be bringing them to bed the first time tonite
:))
* i know, this sound so wrong so dont think lain!*

i really thank my dearest boyfriend
for bringing me to town and watch prince caspian.
yes, i didnt go for class outing
cause i dont know where it is,
furthermore they staying overnight
and at the same time,
i just decided to watch narnia with boyfy ((:

oh and then right,
otw home
me and boyfy play this game which is OUR GAME
you might think its LAME and MEREPEKS LA KAN
but to us, its so fun
and that is guessing what time we will be reaching at marsiling mrt.

and errrr,
boyfy estimate its 8.21pm
and mine is 8.30pm
and i really thought im gonna win cause, the mrt terminate at YISHUN
and normally it will take about 5 minutes to wait for another train
but just now was less than 3 minutes

and we dealed that if we reach more than 8.21pm
i will win
but if it is less than 8.21pm,
he will win.

i was confidently thinking im gonna win due to the stop at yishun
then i started to say to him about what he have to do cause i knw he gonna loose
he have to do retarded face infront of people on thursday the first thing he enter the RP entrance
at the w1

but then,
tk menjadi.
grrrr -____-
he won!
we reached exactly at 8.21pm!
hahaha.

alar, nasib nasib tu.
haha.
so and he asked me to do these things.

1. 5 minutes pray and thank allah for today
2. he want me to smile like lucy and also like today always.
3. he want scallop sushi!
(ni dh melampau sampai mintak sushi. org kasi satu, die kasi tiga!)
hahah :D

and yes,
i have to do it la.
for the first, im very willing and sincere
for second, i wont promise and i'll try
for third, tgk dulu la eh!
muahahaha :DDD

so yea,
there goes the story of first meeting between Lucy and Billy !
((:

ok dah update
teeheehee
:P

goodnite bitches
toodles

love, FERRA :DDDD

i wonder why every little thing i do,
i get blame.
there is nothing that i do,
can be at least appreciate.

you know,
that sadden me most if someone that you love did that to you
i guess, they didnt know us that well... afterall.
and erm, it feels so sucky.

and just as i think, things have get back on track
some things crop up,
and it makes a big mess again.
sound frustrating right?

yes, definitely it is.
i hate every moment of that feeling.
it feels like as though we're the one who cause it all
but in actual fact the other party that make the matter worst.

ahh, i hate this feelings
but i think i have to deal with it.
and guess, i should stop whining?

but heck la,
why bother so much when all we get is a total dissapointment
after what we have did, right?
darnnn.

i wish i was wrong on this
but i think, im right somehow
i think i have too much confidence in someone
that i get this back in return.

ahh, i wish to turn back time.
gaaahhhh.

ON THE OTHER HAND.....

First day of school was ok la, i supposed
heeee ((:
had miss gwen lesson and she never failed to brighten our monday morning though
and with today's topic about alien nations,
i think we did ok.

and i really wanna watch chronicles of narnia: prince caspian.
)):

hitting the sack now.
goodnite bitches.

love, FERRA

today worked kendarat at simei
with cousin yati and my boyfriend
who last minute join in cause, yati need of people to work.
we worked from 10am - 5pm plus plus.
and get paid $30 each.
teeeheee ((:

wat a good start eh.
and erm, isn't cool to work with ur boyfy
though sometimes it can get a lil tough,
but yea the idea or working together is cool.

and erm,
currently im waiting for boyfy under his block's void deck.
for some reason
you know,
i shy2 cat to go his house
though me and his fam went out quite few times
but going to a guy's house at magrib time is like so wrong luh.

and now i really look like pelarian
rather than i bored waiting for him
might as well i switch on the lappy
and suprisingly there's connection
so why must waste time right.

im sleeping at kak ju's house today
cause im super duper tired to go back to woodlands from simei
even from house to admiralty sec can make me think twice
whats more this one.
i think zillion times .
hahaha.

anw,
im not sure to follow boyfy to his karate
cause segan right if i were to go uncle's house at night
like make use gitu
though i told him alrdy,
i dont feel good la.

but then i think,
i'll be following
prolly boyfy having his prayer
so i haveta wait for awhile till he comes down again
jgn tkleh turun sudah
-____-
hahaha.

and he claimed i dressed like minah
and with me sitting under the void deck at this kind of time
really makes me look like a minah.
and i said" well, since dress up like one so act like one"
bukannye selalu.
muahahahaha
* evil grinsssss *

and erm, im kinda scared actually
haha
mane tau got penjahat kan
errr, k choy!

alrite now.
update more soon or when lar.
tmr haveta wake up early !
adoiiiii
-____-

toodles,
and bye folks.

love, FERRA :D

*` im looking forward to meet this bunch again*

as always,
thursday night will be spend at home ALONE
well, same goes to all the other nights.
so nothing much.

currently chatting with old friend
and it makes me misses my friends all.
my 5n1 mates
and i hope i can go for the class gathering.

and boyfriend too
but he's currently with his sis
surf some net or anything
i dont bother asking
so i dont feel like chatting with him

and anyway,
i think im gonna be doom tomorrow
i hope im out for some meet ups with the cousins or something
or i'll be ultimate bored to death.

sigh,
i miss my secondary school days
somehow.
chatting with hamid remind me of those days
going out with the guys
and talk like im one of them
haha.
funnayyy.

anyhoos,
i guess im continuing chatting with that monkey
so tkcr all.

gdnite.

love, FERRA ((:

*` it feels so good to wake up each morning and see your smile *

as i said ytd,
we end there
and im gonna pretend nothing of those happen.
i know, no matter what
you will keep denying and blabber on the things over and over again.
so goodbye !
WOOOTS :D

on the other hand,
im webby-ing with boyfy
and we're having so much fun showing our funny and havent-bath faces!
lol :D

i feel like meeting him
but
i dont knw.
he look so tired and worried.

anyhoos,
sch's reopening sooon
and i cant wait but at the same time
im gonna miss waking up late and blablabla.
heh (:

i better be paying attention to boyfriend now.
or he'll pout.

GOODAY FOLKS
(:

love, FERRA

Dearest little girl,
you know who you are
and
i wonder how low u can be.

blog bout us?
HA HA HA.
blog all u want,
put our names there
but we don't give a damn.

and yes,
you said you dont associate with people like us?
and i think u said it quite few times,
but still you smsing me and msn-ing with me.
it shows that u havent moved on and u still wanna know what happened btw me and dinie faris
and did i get it right?
i think so.

and yes,
do you people agree with me
that when a girl who claimed they dont care abt ur bf anymore
come to you and asked you if UR BOYFRIEND have a malay dicitionary so that she can borrow for her goddamnit malay o lvls,
is a LOSER?

well, personally
i think that is how a loser will act.
cause u know
she said she dont associate with ur boyfriend anymore
and why the hell she still want to be " friends " with you?
any of you get the picture?

and why the hell she seeking help with ur boyfriend
whom she said she dont wanna associate with anymore?
tell you why,
she lack of attention
and i think that is the only way so that she can prolly meet up ur boyfriend.

isn't it pathetic.
and look how she blogged about us.
sucha sore loser.
and we appreciate u wanna offer ur condolensces,
but you know.

if ure sincere then its good
but
if u have some intention well, ur bad
and YOU SAID YOU DONT CARE ABOUT HIM
SO WTF YOU STILL BOTHER AND ASKED IF HE'S OK OR NOT?

and stop calling people childish and LAME
if you're acting like one.
and stop being like as though u're some tough girl and knows it all very well.
and as far as im concern,
i did no wrong to you
and mind you,
dont talk WORLD !

and for your info,
if u think im embarassing myself by asking u to know more about my boyfriend
well, you are so wrong.
why shld i be embarass about?
when i know every little right and wrong my bf did?
and dearest little girl,
dont you know you've been punked huh?

im testing a person level of honesty and trusthwortiness.
ah, good that ure honest and tell me everything in detail
but hey,
you said RUINING MY RELATIONSHIP WITH DINIE FARIS IS THE LAST EVER THING YOU WANNA DO.

and its meaningless.
if u really sincere about that bloody sentence u said
you wont be telling me all the BAD THINGS ABOUT MY BOYFRIEND.
YOU WONT BRAG ABOUT THE PAST,
YOU WONT TELL ME IN DETAIL OF WHAT HE DID
AND
LASTLY, YOU WONT EVEN START THE TOPIC ABT REMINDING THE PAST BTW YOU, HIM AND WHOEVER IT MAY CONCERN.

it shows how low u can be.
and yes, i wont get into your filthy trap .
hah ! look at urself babe.
you're just one stupid girl who thinks ure smart.
ahh wells,
i guess u need a little more training before you even try to judge people.

and you said he got not balls?
BOOHOOHOO!
WORST STILL,
YOU GOT NO GUTS TO COME UP TO ME AND SAID WHAT YOU'VE SAID.
and please,
dont act like u knw everything so well la.

and i dont blame u for knowing him alot
well, i was expecting u knw everything either.
and yea,
u knew who his uncle, his fam, his cousins and everything.
lol :D

wanna say you're a stalker,
hanya allah saje yang tau.

and girl,
i think u really need to focus on ur life more before interfering others relationship.
and im ready for girl to girl talk if u wanna .

erm,
i dont wanna brag about all ur dirty little secret here
cause i still have a heart
and im willing to forgive u if u even care abt seeking forgiveness
but well,
i doubt so you will do that

like u say,
YOU HAVE A DIGNITY AND YOUR EGO LEVEL IS QUITE HIGH I THINK.
AND erm,
we know you know that the one sms u is my bf.
and we're not stupid.

and for your info,
ITS VERY HARD FOR US TO COMMUNICATE WITH SUCH A LOW SELF ESTEEM GIRL
AND WHATSMORE YOU'RE STILL IN SECONDARY SCHOOL
AND YOU KNOW,
YOU'RE MIND IS STILL LIKE A KID MIND
AND YES, WE AIN'T THAT MATURE ENOUGH EITHER
BUT AT LEAST, WE GOT BETTER QUALITY IN THINKING.

AND SINCE YOU REALLY DONT WANT TO ASSOCIATE WITH US RIGHT,
THIS WILL BE MY VERY LAST TIME BLOGGING ABOUT A LOSER LIKE YOU
AND IM GONNA DELETE YOU OFF FROM FRIENDSTER AND
I BET YOU CAN ASK YOUR FRIEND OR WHOEVER TO ADD ME SO THAT YOU CAN VIEW ME

AND IF YOU REALLY DO THAT,
WELL I THINK YOU KNOW WHO IS THE TRUE LOSER HERE.
AND YES, NO MORE MSN-ING WITH ME PUHLEASSE.
AND PLEASE DONT GO TO THE EXTENT JUST TO FIND MY BLOG
AND ERM, WHAT ELSE EH
STOP SPAMMING AND
DONT TELL ME THAT FAZILAH IS THE ONE WHO SPAMMED
BLABLABLABLA.

ahh,
thinking of what you have said to me all this while abt spamming and everything
make me disgust you more.
pffffffttttttt ~
:X

and last thing,
if you think my bf ain't no big shot
THEN WHY THE HELL WHEN HE WAS STILL SCHOOLING IN LOYANG SEC
YOU WERE THE ONE RUNNING OVER HIM
AND BE EMO WHEN HE DONT LAYAN YOU
AND IM SCARED TO SAY THIS BUT,
I THINK YOU REALLY HAVENT MOVED ON
AND GO GET A GRIP OF YOURSELF LA.

STOP PESTERING HIM
AND
DONT YOU DARE BLOG ABOUT HIM ANYMORE
CAUSE WHAT COMES OUT FROM YOUR MOUTH
IS ONLY FILTHY WORDS.

so girl,
enough of saying about u
and sorry to waste this entry for just this particular person,
alrite beloved readers.

and dear who it may concern,
just so you know why i dont put down ur name is basically because,
i dont wanna spoilt ur reputation and
what i said now, is just 10% of you
but i dont wanna corrupt my mind to become as dirty and rusty as yours.
so go reflect urself in the mirror

and stop disturb other people life okie.

and i also dont wish to associate with EAST people
if its not because of my boyfriend
and well, i meet some beautiful people though
and err,
i just wanna say stop acting like ULAR BERKEPALE DUA
OKIE?

so long.
and till here biatch !
GOODDAY AND HAVE FUN WITH REPLYING MY TAGGINGS
AND err,
i dont claim myself to be anonymous there.
LOL :D

love, FERRA :D

*` don't think im naive *

im not okay with this particular person keep bugging me and i dont know if she have good or bad intention towards me and him.
im not okay with my irresponsible brothers who have use my lappy but didnt take care of it well.
im not okay with people using my msn/friendster account.

im seriously not ok with this.
and
i hate to be selfish but,
being too nice is not good either.

like if u lie for something good, then it helps but if u were to tell the truth and get yourself in trouble
then it will be such a watse to honest right.
and i mean honesty is good,
but certain things are better left unsaid.

get what i mean?
and i hate to feel like this.

and yes,
sometimes people blame me for doing something
and it is so unfair.

i don't feel okay right now.
goodbye.

love,Ferra

*` i hope to see you smile the very next morning *

im almost done with half of the post just a few mins ago
but thanks to my ichy fingers,
i didnt know what i pressed
and wahlah! everything gone.
tskkkk.
so the irritating la,
but i still enjoy blogging (:

anyway,
what i wanna say today was that
i wanna give a big condolences to boyfy's late uncle's family.
i hope everything will be back to normal.

and though its hard to accept the fact,
we still have to and
deepest sympathy from me to the family.

and love,
im not really sure how you feel
but i know you're in denial and yes sober.
but i hope you keep the memories alive in you and pray for the best for your late uncle ok.

i hope to see you alive and kicking and cracking and laming again.
and i can wait.
i know it takes time to heal and to accept.
but i hope you and your family all will stay strong always.

and thanks to my irritating nye selendang
for making me look weird throught out the visit
and i wont be wearing selendang anymore cause it wont stick on my hair.
tskkk.

and love, i said i shy right
i mean not that shy in wearing selendang
shy because you are there,
and you know what i mean.
nvm, forget it.

anyway,
to dinie's family members
i hope you all will get through this soon,
insyallah
(:

alrite now,
house chores need to be done and all
but im freaking lazy.

toodles

love, FERRA (:

This is a poem and a drawing
tis is specially for my darling...
Two full nights spent on this drawing
shadings in its eyes, legs and wings....

See this butterfly up in the sky,
watch it as it flutters by....
I am sending u my butterfly,
A metamorphosis same as i...

Its hard to contact someone that is very far
especially someone that u truly care for...
So when u see a butterfly so free,
think of its beauty and u'll see me... =))

----- directed from dinie faris ------

----- Je t'aime ----
----- kimi o ai shi teru !! -----

08/8/2006 5:27 pm

i dont know why im missing him so so so much
probably because of just now
i just want to be with him and hug him tightly.

you know
the feeling of not wanting to let go
that is what i feel right now,
this seconds.

im scared of loosing him
and
though he said many times he loves me,
its not that i didnt trust
i trust him alot

its just that im scared if one day
we have to be separated
in any way,
im scared.

and mind you its 3:33am now
and i cant sleep cause i feel so insecure right now
if can i want to forbid him from playing soccer after wat have happened to his uncle
but tat will be way too much la.
i dont want to control him, never.

i hope he doing fine.
i dont know what is happening there,
but i can feel the saddness
and i just feel so close to them
i dont know why.

i hope my love doing ok,
please dont cry anymore
and you know i love n treasure you alot right.

i wanna live life to the very fullest
with my loved ones, specially.
im so worried now.
and yes, boyfy havent sleep yet
thats make me even worried.
im scared he will worn out by tmr ):

i just feel like tearing,
i dont know why.
dont ask for reasons cause i really dont know
i just feel like it
and at this instance,
i wish he is here to hold me close to him and hug me tightly
so i will feel safe.

but i cannot be selfish alrite,
i need to let go some of this feelings.
and yes,
i still cannot sleep though he msged me to sleep early.

i need to hear you and
please let me hear you even if its for a second please.

goodnight
and
i love you muhd dinie faris (':

location: my single bed
timecheck: 3.40am
plug in to: Samsons - Bukan Diriku

love, FERRA

i don't know how to say this
and
i dont think if it's even appropriate to blog this time
this seconds about someone whom my boyfriend love alot.

love, stay strong ok.
im sure you're strong enough to get through all of this.
he left all of you because the man above wants him back,
and im sure he rest peacefully.

please be strong and
i really dont know how to react when you called me a min ago
telling me about your uncle.

i don't know if my relationship with boyfy is strong enough
but you know,
people said when you dream that your upper teeth falls out
your loved ones will pass away.

and you know,
i dreamt about my upper teeth falls out
just ytd or the day before ytd.
it happens so fast,
and i dont even know his uncle.

i know this is superstition
but everytime i dream of my teeth falling out
someone far will pass away.
and this is scary.

ya allah,
please put dinie's uncle with people whom you think deserve you best
because deep down,
they're are good people.
amin.

please be strong dinie and family.
let's pray that everything will be back to normal
and yes,
i'll follow you tmr ok sayang.

i love you
and
please dont cry ok
(':

love, FERRA.

*` i wish we had quality time together more often *

be it with boyfriends, girlfriends
and
my loverboy (:

JJ gathering will be on 14th June,
hopefully i can make it.

5N1 chalet will be on 17th-19th June,
and still i hope i can make it.

and As and me
planning to have girls sleepover at her house
this coming Thurs to Sat
but since Munirah cannot make it,
i hope Yussie can
so that there will be at least me, as, yussie and as's sis.
heeee ((:

and yes,
sleepover with Bestie have yet to come.
nyeheheh.
its a MUST !
we can get to spent time together probably during hols only
):

wells,
so much plans coming
but i still a have a week and five more days to go
before the hols end , officially !

actually today wanna follow boyfy play badminton with his fam
but,
you knw
woodlands - changi airport
i rather stay at home.
lol .
im sucha a lazyy asss,
please agree with me yaw.

tomorrow plan is
to go out with boyfy.
to swim or lib
not so sure yet.
nyehehehe :D

so much to do,
so little time to figure out what
hahaha.

and yes,
i hope hip hop ig will start soon
but i can wait.
teeeheeeheee ((:

ah, boyfy otw to hospital to visit his uncle
get well soon dinie's uncle.
(:

anyhoos,
our trip to Vivo was fun.
though it was a short trip
still we had ultimate fun :DDDD

pics taken
but as you know,
i very lazy la.
-_________-

ok dah update.
i'll post moree soon.

bye folks
:X

love, FERRA :D

*` the very old good quality time spent together during holidays *

timecheck: 2.oo am
location: on my single comfy bed

holidays up
and its time to put that thinking cap on
you know, to plan for what to do
so that you gonna have a kick ass during the hols.
heeee (:

as for now,
theres no plan yet
but thought of going out with boyfy today, later
but not sure where.

and if you guys wondering why im still up despite boyfy have gone to bed since ages ago
wells, i cannot sleep !
duhhhh
* slaps on the forehead *

i tried to shut my eyes and stop thinking what have happened just now
during the phone call
but darn i cannot
so i have to keep myself awake and do something like this.
((:

im gonna have two weeks of heavenly holidays
and i hope i can have fun during this first hols in RP
i need some sleepovers at bestie's or girlfriends house

slumber party,
you know those cute pyjamas and with our favourite doll.
its gonna be exciting though i dont play with dolls.
booohoohoo :P

i hope boyfy will feel better after quite a long hours of sleeping
and please make him wake up at 11 am or something
waking him up early in the morning can cause him to be tired
and i dont want that to happen.

yes, dad went back to KL just now 6pm.
i miss him already )':
need to do work and stuff.
darn
-___-

anyhoos,
time flies right
i mean i just realised its june already
phewww.

time flies like too toot train.
hahaha :D
i mean, i can still remember vividly during the countdown
and woahlah! its june already
and soon, july and soon end of year again.

it scares the shit out of me sometimes
to know that we're living on a fast pace world now.
ah wells,
they keep on saying doomsday coming !

but hey !
nobody can predict the future right
unless you have those time machines like in the movies
FAT HOPE !
(;

alrite now,
i dont know what to say next
but i hope everyone have a happy holidays !
and do take care of yourself dear friends
:))

goodnight folks
and
dream of me ,love.
<3

ps: i love you
and its as much as the
size of the universe !

lol :D

love, FERRA (: