pills & you;

*` let them bitch, let them talk, let them say ;

as long as i know we are there for each other i'm totally fine *

and you know why i love you?
cause you're the most nicest person ever.
you know why i say that?
cause you don't care what others say about us as long as we don't bother them.

but sadly i'm the one that get irritated
and i cannot help it but to say this.

i don't think i'm at wrong or any of those things,
but girl i think you're just too out of control for yourself.

see, told you not to mess with me
now you regret things that you should not have done
and now, you're 'begging' for apologies
and yes, for a moment i thought i should forgive you cause i know we both at wrong
but hey, you just cannot wait
and i really think it's your own loss.

and i know i'm not allah or watsoever for u to seek forgiveness,
and i didn't ask for any
but you're the one that make the move,
so if i didn't reply you
does that mean you have to jump to a conclusion?
hurhur.

and yes i love reading your webpage,
you know why?
cause you really make me laugh my ass off
you're like making fool of yourself girl.

i'm not trying to be mean here,
but look who's the one bothering other's life?
us or you?
and as far as i remember, all this long it have been you
but well you just cannot stop saying it's us that bothering you.
hurhur.

pathetic, i tell you.

*` is it me , we or you who did not understand your part *

hello fellas!
for today, let's put aside with dance
cause i just bought some stuff for raya.
heee ((:

and right now,
i'm not really interested in talking about dance
cause it can make my mind go haywire
and to think that i need to do some rough idea,
is more than enough.
haha :D

anyhoos,
i cannot wait to raya with dinie.
lol :D
reason for the excitement?
cause we never get to raya together since two years ago.
haha
and that is why we both excited.

oh and yes,
before i forget
oh shit, i did forget!
it was yesterday
27 september 2008

HAPPY 14TH MONTHSARY DINIE FARIS
i can never understand, why i keep forgetting this date
haha :D

oh boy!
time flies
and god knows how much we've been through together yea?
and yes, you know i love you so much.
heee ((:

ok till here then,
more house cleaning need to be done
and i'm screwed if i get letter from RP.
DIE MAN DIE!
:/

timecheck: 1.40am
location: small room
plug in to: my blog's song.

ps: pardon the picture, it's just for humour.

Love, FERRA
:D

*` i'm becoming much more determined now,
and i wanna let bygones be bygones cause i believe everything is about the heart and soul*

i don't know why,
i suddendly decided to forget what had happened in class today
forget about all the past
and all thanks to my dear boyfriend.
i don't know but within split seconds he can make me change my mind.

we somehow had a 'small talk'
cause of things that i've created and he wanna clarify everything so that,
there will be no more arguments between us
and i know he did all this because he love me dearly.

i think all this small arguments that is happening everyday
have to STOP!
cause it's really not healthy to argue over some stupid matter
and you know who always start the arguments?
ITS YOURS TRULY!
BOOOOHOOOO!
:DD

i'm so selfish sometimes,
infact most of the times.
and i only think about my pathetic emotions
i put all my sadness/stressness/grieveness/angryness all onto him
and it is so so much burden for him to carry all on his two pair of shoulders.
i wanna be someone better, but i just cannot find a way to be one.

and because of that i cause him to hurt alot,
well people might see us as a very happy couple
but they don't know how mean i am towards him sometimes,
so now i declare that i'm a MEAN GIRL!
hahaha ((:
self-declaration sikit uh, at least mengaku kan.
nyehehehe!

since the festive season coming,
i decided to erased all the bad memories in the past and
to just forget and forgive those people who might have hurt me in a way or another
and also i hope they forgive my bad doings to them or watsoever.
and right now,
im trying to slowly forget about that 'bitch' ( boyfriend know her very well )
but i seriously cannot hear/see her name, hear her voice and wats more looking at her face
so irritating, like very menyampah gitu!
hahah :D

gaaaah,
and you know who i need most to guide me in doing all this sort of things?
my darling boyfriend
cause he is a very forgivable person and i've been pressurizing him to many times already.
but that one, later2 can mintak maaf.
hahaha :D

so in conclusion,
i had fun with boyfriend today
so so so much fun lah!
hehe

anyhoos,
i also decided to stop skipping/cabotting school
it's very dangerous and very addictive you know!
hahah
and i really have to stop it man!
i need to have good grades yo!
;PPP

oh and yes,
tomorrow will be our preview for reflections and debut
darn it!
i really hope i can stay longer tmr,
but i dun care
i'll stay longer too.
balik kena marah lain cerita eh!
hahaha :D

alrite now,
update more soon
now waiting for that little monkey of mine to go online.
hehe ((:

timecheck: 11.22pm
location: on my single bed
plug in to: some random lagu raya

ps: please don't stop loving me cause i know, i need you the most and
you're the only one that can fix my loose mind. i thank god for you the most precious gift ever (:

Love, FERRA
:PPPPPPP

*` don't tell me you find it hard to understand me;
and you've given up on me *

gaaaah!!!

I LOVE YOU ALOT CAN?!

&

SORRRYYYY TRUCKLOADS !

Love, FERRA
:DDDDDDD

*` i've been grounded for the very first time,

and this is what i do today *

so i basically play the lappy
went to shop for baking stuff
and help mom with baking
and play lappy up till now.
grrrr.
this is super uber boring to the extreme maximum man!

i need to go school,
and yes bf said tomorrow got dance blablabla
and now how am i suppose to go
if that bloody monster at home?
tsk -_-
i'll see how

and anyway,
i don't think the group will die if i'm not there
it's not like im their whoever2.
hahaha
:D

gheees!
i need to sleep
my head spinning like a roller coaster.
darn.

i wish i don't see that monster again!
shooo!
go away you to another country
it's better that way!
you making my life miserable, brother!

im hitting the sack now.

ps: i'm smelling something fishy,
ok crap!

GOODNIGHT !

Love, FERRA

*` if i have one wish,
that wish is to stay with my father and nothing else matters *

i seriously think i screwed up with my life
my school, socialising with people and my family.
i don't know where i went wrong
but i know everything i do is wrong to people.

i'm eighteen but i feel more like eight years old.
are young adults suppose to be treated like this?
if nag i still can accept it
but if i talk in a nice manner, should i be shouted back?
i really wonder what am i to them.

it's easy for people to say ' take it easy ' blablabla
but nobody really understand how i feel
the situation i'm in right now.
there's just so many things is happening but i cannot listed it down here.
why?
because i still respect them.

and i never try to think of this,
but i seriously think of leaving this house.
it's more like a hell now to me.
the festive season is coming soon,
and i think im at wreck.

i seriously don't feel like goin out with them celebrating
instead just stay at home and do what i normally do.
i don't feel the excitement like the rest
i don't feel the eager to wear those traditional clothes.
why? all thanks to them for making me feel useless here.

i told you,
im a NOBODY to them
just mayb some slaves, perhaps?
gaaah.
i don't wish to talk now.

oh and yes,
i still hate that super irritating bitch
and i know boyfriend know who i'm referring too.
you're sucha pain in the ass, girl.
and you're nothing but just some girl who thinks so highly of yourself.
go get a life.

goodbye

Love, Ferra

*` at this kind of time where i keep on reminisce,
those moments where we just know each other *

i'm done with baking
and within a day
me and mom baked four types of cookies.
(:

woah!
it's been ages since i last baked,
teeeheee :D

oh and yes,
while me and boyfy were busy doing our things just now
me = baking
he = mass cleaning
he smsed me saying that he need to wipe the furniture in his house
and as far as i remembered
at this period of time, back then last year
he said the same thing during one of the day during fasting month

and it makes me realised
how fast time really flies
and this will be our second or third raya together,
right dF ?
hmphhh
(;

and yes,
it's funny to think how i can stick this long in this relationship
dun get me wrong!
i'm very thankful cause i start to maturing into young adult, i guess?
haha.

well, i would be lying if i say i dun have any flings
i bet my secondary frens will go -_-
if i say i dun have any flings.
lol :D

but i dun know wat makes me wake up and stop all those
and just commit on one
and yes, i cannot deny it that i was being sucha bit*h once
but not anymore la.

gheesss!
it's so gross to think on those past memories
but nonetheless, it makes me a stronger person
and i learnt something from it.
somehow, i don't regret any of action
and well, i'm happy now cause i have dinie faris who always guide me through everything
and i can never be more than thankful to allah to send this boy to me.
(:

raaaah!
i just love reminscing the past with dearest boyfy
and i can never get sick of it
no matter how painful it can be, some parts of our story
it's still the best love story in my life ever
:P

and now,
im waiting for dearest boyfy to go online
and im kinda sleeepppyyy nowww.
* yawwwnnnssss *
but, where is he???
dinie? hello? are you there?
hmphhh.

tomorrow will be costume hunting with the rocaphaze crew
and cannot wait
to get tops/bottoms for myself.
heeee (:

alrite till here now
i seriously need to wash up.
this hour?
darnnnn
-_-

timecheck: 2.08am
location: still in bro's room
plug in to: the saturdays - issue

Love, FERRA
:D

*` i will not ask anything more than this,
cause i believe this are the reason why i love my life and it's because of them *

and so, yesterday we had a mini belated birthday celebration
for my darling aminah!
hehe.
i hope you had alot of fun (:

gosh!
god knows how much i love those ladies ; my barbie dolls.
teeheeheee
and yes, tomorrow will be outing for The RocaPhaze Crew to go shopping
to shop for our costume, basically
cannot wait luh!
:D

ahhh !
and yes,
the three pictures above are my precious gifts.
i have my darling boyfriend, i have my besterest besftfriend, i have my favourites barbie dolls
and not forgetting my RocaPhaze Crew.
cutey pie amirah, dope natashah and loud seri.
so what's more can i ask than having these bunch of lovlies?
I LOVE YOU ALLL !!!
:DDDD

ok, im out.
need to continue baking.
and yes, boyfy helping his mom bake kek kukus.
yummaylicious!

ok goodday everybody!

timecheck: 3.35pm
location: my bro's room
plug in to: young Anuar Zain and the girl Raya Song at the Radio

Love, FERRA
:D

*` even if it looks scary shit or anything like that,
don't worry cause we love you still *

HAPPY BELATED 17TH BIRTHDAY AMINAH!
:DD

it's not i forget to post,
but too many things on my head
that i somehow neglect this best part of dedicating this post to my dearest aminah!
heee ((:

i hope you had a blissful birthday,
and there is still many to come,
insyallah
:P

and yes,
I LOVE YOU ALOT AMINAH!
& MIMI & MARSH TOO !
:DD

ok gooday people !

timecheck: 12.32pm
location: w16p, RP
plug in to : Freda's singing

Love, FERRA
:))

*` don't ever think of someone replacing your position in my life,
cause nothing can beat that and you will always be the best *

so, i've been thinking that i've been neglecting my dearest boyfy
many will think that we're always together and
how i can possibly make such statement
in fact, we're so close to each other that people might not be able to see any
wrong in our relationship .

my oh my,
looks can be deceiving.
yes school, life have been pretty great and we're doing fine
just that even in the closest time together,
there is just something been missing in both of us
that we're trying to figure and mend the pieces back together.

oh boy!
it is the toughest thing to do,
even dancing is not as tough as this.
lol :D

so yes,
i used to have all of my time for him and us
and now,
look at myself.

i'm barely at home till late evening
and i'll spend most of the day in school dancing.
pathetic? not really, cause dancing somehow cheer me up sometimes.
and yes, boyfy been sucha sweetheart
and tolerate all my nuisance despite how irritating i can be.

somehow,
i thank god that me and dF in the same school, same ig
while some of my dance mates,
they have to sacrifice most of their quality times with the love ones
just because of dancing,
and i bet they meet them only once in a while.

while me and boyfy,
we meet almost everyday except weekend.
very the tebalik relationship, i tell you.
hehe ((:
so yes, dearest dinie faris
let's be thankful that we get to see each other almost every seconds of the day.
(:

oh and yes,
i love every time we reminisce ourselves
on how we met in 2004 at mount ophir,
and our first pic at dowtown on 2006,
also our chatting/emailing when i was in dubai in 2006
and how we meet again in 2007 at RP.

without the existence of RP,
i think we will not be together like this.
and yes,
i'm really thankful that i have you
cause your the greatest gift from the man above, at least to me
and i bet people who love you feel the same way too
((:

on the other note,
next friday will be our full-dress debut preview and reflections 1st preview.
its crazy, i tell you.
i mean, i'm not really good in getting all the steps right
and i seriously a slow learner.
muahahaha :D

i really wonder how i can cope with all this
but not to worry my lovelies and dearest love will always be there for me,
at least i hope boyfy will be there to guide me through.
hehehe (:

and yes,
one more thing
im kinda pissed off to this someone earlier just now.
cause of some jokes, that person got kinda irritated
like wth!
if you cannot take jokes, then dont start it in the first place.
and one more thing,
if you thing im messing with the wrong person
well, you're joking with the wrong person too.

do not think that you have the authority
and you can misused it anytime you want.
i dont buy that , hear me?!
betul2 menguji kesabaran aku betul di bulan ramadhan ni.
tskkkk
-_-

really irritating ,
screw you dude!
so what if you someone with higher position and someone good?
a good leader, don't boss around instead good leader comes a good attitude and
i think we should respect good/great people with low-profile kinda attitude
like my boyfriend.
haha.

you can only dance,
he can do more than you people can do.
so stop bragging that you're so good and you can steps on people's head.
foolish brat.

oh and yes,
i know im not good either,
but at least im willing to learn, right?
oh darn you .
one more time, you do that to us
you will see what you get in return.
and yes,
do not cross the line.
everybody have their limits,
hear me dude?!
now, scram you!

tssssk.
i really sound pissed off?
yes, indeed i am.
haha.
boyfy were there to tolerate me, at least.
my herooo....
hahaha :D

alrite now, till here then.
update more tomorrow

goodnight and goodbye
((:

ps; i love you alot dinie faris

timecheck: 10.06pm
location: home sweet home
plug in to : mom's typing the keyboard

Love, FERRA
:D

*` these are my favourites people *

so i just edit this three pictures,
and more to come
provided if i'm hardworking enough.
if not, then the original one will do just fine
(:

oh and yes,
some of the shots we took yesterday,
i think i look horrendous.
muahahaha :D
like seriously pleasee.
gheeessss.

anyhoos,
im feeling like eating roti boy !
shit!
i'm fasting.
tskkk
-_-

gaaaaaaaah!

GoodBye !

timecheck: 12.34pm
location: w16p, RP
plug in to: the silence of the class and the noisy aircon.

Love, FERRA
(:

PHOTOSHOOT SHIOK OR WHAT?!

LOL
:DDDDD

PICTURES WILL BE UP ASAP
IF IM RAJIN ENOUGH OK?!

GOODNIGHT.
-YAWNNZZZZ-

Love, FERRA
:DDD

*` our almost perfect chemistry *

so my weekend was spend tremendously
i got to spent time with family and the sexylove.
so had a two days one night trip to Jb to my nenek house
and break our fast for two evening at there.

superb and delicious food
and
a very memorable trip to there.

and this is my very special trip to there.
why so?
because boyfy can follow our family sleepover there.
and it was kinda suprising that his parents let him go.
heee.

and i hope he had fun though.
so we and my bro's girlfriend went to JB by bus
and its their first time doing that,
so skip their jakun part.
hahaha :DD

and this upon reaching JB,

boyfy being sucha a noob,
he wanted to snap the pictures of us.
so can see the taxi malaysia?
:PP

and after breakfast on the first day,
we went to Pandan to buy Caspia sandal.
and bro treat the three of us that sandals.
and yes, me and boyfy love that new sandals of us
it's sorta couple sandals la kan.
heeee (:

and so we had a sleepover there.
and the next morning,
he woke up first then me,
and we took pics of us again.
very ugly, i tell you

so BEWARE !
hahaha.

taaadaaa !
selekeh nak mamposssss
muahahahaha :DDD

and then we went to City Square
to do a little shopping
but due to time contstraint
i managed to get a top and he managed to get his body glove ------ .
hahaha :P

and second day of breakfasting there
was filled with foood all over the kitchen
untile we had to bring back to singapore
cause nobody gonna eat that lots of foods and drink those drinks!
heeeee.

so yes,
im a happy girl .
teeheeeheee.

alritey, enough of that.
update moree soonn.
yes prac after school and photoshoot later.
darnn -_-

Gooday.

Love, FERRA
:D

*` i know we can surely make it through,
even if we face many difficulties *

so dance have taken up most of my time,
and im so drained out
that i've been waking up late to school
or even worst i cannot even wake up!
:P

and i think, dance has somehow change part of my life.
like for example,
i wont tell you what is it,
but it's something about me and you
(:

to you: please don't worry so much ok
i'll catch you when you fall alritey?
and i love love love love you alot lot lot lot lot lot lot !
:DDD

and yes sorry for everything,
every single words that i say that is very harsh
and hurt you deeply
please forgive me ?
(:

till here then,
gooday!
and badday for me for having science faci like -------- !!!
hahaha

Love, FERRA
((:

*` catch me if you cannn *

I'M A HAPPY KID.
its 3.33pm
THIS TIME, 6P ?!?!

UNBELIEVABLE, I KNOW.

DON'T GET JEALOUS PEOPLE.
OK, IM SO JAKUN !
:PPP

FIRST TIME BABE!
MUAHAHAHA :D

TIMECHECK: 3.42 PM
LOCATION: W16P, RP
PLUG IN TO: FACI'S TALKING TO 6P

OK CLASS DONE!
I LOVE THIS FACI :DD

ps: quite late eh the 6p? haha.
AMIRAH STOP READING ! CONCENTRATE !
MUAHAHAHHA :DD

Love, FERRA
((:

*` everything is not as beautiful as how you may see it with your naked eye *

timecheck : 8.52am
location: w16p, RP
plug in to: the sound of people typing

so i'm such an early bird today!
nyehehe.
thanks to my dinie faris,
that i woke u p early despite i'm still FREAKING sleepppyyy !!!
RAWRRRRR !!!!

i need to sleep
i need to sleep
i need to sleep
i need to sleep
i need to sleep
:DDDDDDDDD

can i?
ok BYE!

Love, FERRA
:P

*` don't ever turn you back on me,

even if i'm being a sick ass *

yet to meet you during second break-out
and
i cannot WAIT for dance.
so i can meet my BARBIE GIRLS and my ROCAPHASE crew !
lol:D

class is indeed fun,
the module is interesting though
and
so much for having fun that i got D for SCIENCE!

SCIENCE?!
D?!
OMGAAAAHHHH !!!!

my previous faci is like more nicer can?
D for cabot halfday
this faci, D for me doing work but because i did not talk much
so she thinks i deserve a D?!
darnnn youuuuuu.

ok i need to get over this
i wanna get at least B or A for today?
tskkk.
i'm not a grade whore, but i know i need to buck up in Sem 2
mind youuuuu.

now ,
how tougher my life can be?
but with my boyfriend, barbie girls and friends
i believe it make my life easier, at least a LIL.
tskk -_-

screww my sci faci.
haha.

ok, back to chatting with my boyfriend.

ps: thank you boyfy for buka-ing with my family yesterday,
the more the merrier. hahaha

timecheck: 10.49am
location: w16p, RP
plug in to: the chattering of my classmates

Love, FERRA
:D

no matter how far,
how mad am i,
how irritating you can be,
i will still love you (:

first day of class was
errrrrmmm,
make a guess ?

so my first day went quite well,
though i don't really feel comfortable
i just miss my w34k very much,
that i feel like goin back there NOW.
boohoohooo ((:

and i know i'll get comfortable soon enough,
so SOOON!
haha

so anyhoos,
im sucha early bird
while boyfy is late to school AGAIN!
lol :D

so today will be computing,
and i'm kinda not ready for it yet
CODES, MATHS and ALL?
-__-

alritey now,
back to doing my things now.
i'm DARN SLEEEPY CAN?!?!

timecheck: 8.41AM
location: w16p, RP
plug in to: the classmates chattering

ps: i really hope i can survive the day cause i didnt wake up at 4am. teeheeheee

Love, FERRA
(:

*` time flies while all of us were having fun,
and now it is back to school time *

without us noticing it,
three weeks gone with the thin air.

i really don't feel like we are on our holidays,
and guess what?
three weeks is like three days.

sigh
and i'm not ready to face my new class just as yet
cause you know why?
i'm too used to my w34k that thinking of working with new classmates,
is somewhat NIGHTMARE!
ok, mayb not.

we will see how it goes tomorrow alrite.
raaah,
introduction of ourselves ALL OVER AGAIN?!
darrrn.

so since tmr will be the start of Sem2,
me and boyfriend went to IT Helpdesk to reformat my lappy
and i thought that after reformatting,
i will be less stress and ready for school tomorrow
but it gives me even more hard time!

screww that guy who actually ' HELP ' us.
this is so annoying
i cannot download msn and there is no Microsoft Office/Word/Powerpoint, VisualBasic and all.
this is like so totally useless can?!

im so pissed right now
how am i suppose to do my work then?
so what is the use of IT Helpdesk?
thanks but no thanks Dude !

sighh.
since its fasting month,
im trying my very best to control my emotions.
grrrr.
irritating nk mamps ah !

whatever la,
i just go school and see how everything goes.
i hate this laptop!!!
i want new one!
LOL :D

alrite now,
oh btw!
Walle.E is the BEST!
hahaha.
very cute and touching and sweet and spicy and juicy and sexy and handsome and gorgeous and hilarious and sad and humourous and EVERYTHING LA!
teeeeheeeeheee ((:

ok goodnight.
i wish to meet my BarbieGirls tomorrow.

Love, Ferra
((:

*` i love the girls, i love dancing, i love the boyfy

and i love everything in this world *

dance have never been bored ever since i know this bunch of lovelies

and because all of them always brighten up my day,

so here goes to them:

I LOVE YOU MARSH !!!

I LOVE YOU MIMI !!!

&

I LOVE YOU AMINAH !!!!

heeee ((:

and i know they love me too

and yes,

you all love us tooo, right right ???

* grinsssss *

so the day went perfect

except for something that i shall not say it out

but its been settle

and i love you most muhd dinie faris.

and don't let those people bring us down ok?

and you don't have to entertain the freaks.

cause they're just JEALOUS of US.

nyehehehe ((:

and so i get to pass my first day of puase

with patience and fun!

and yes, i had mee kuah.

superb! and i just need lots of water.

hahahah.

ok till here then,

boyfy went to terawih already i guess

with his sec sch mates.

im happy if his happy

((:

and tomorrow bboy lesson,

girls we see how tmr!

nyehehe.

alritey.

selamat berpuase everyone for tomorrow.

hehehe

((:

ps: i stole these pictures in aminah's darling friendster

heeee

Love, Ferra

<3>